I have noticed that there is a growing number of families who are sitting with young adult kids who have dropped out of varsity, have the car, the iPad, the girlfriend and the easy life and who have no intention of leaving home. Many parents are pulling their hair out at the lack of motivation and ambition with their youngster and have no idea on how to deal with this growing problem.

I have been puzzled by this growing phenomenon and believe that this problem could have manifested itself just after the birth of the new South Africa when parents were very uncertain as to the future of the country. It seems that many parents either over-protected or over-indulged their child.

Technology and the advent of electronic games have exploded into the world. For the parent, the advantage of these computerised games, iPads, iPods etc. means they found an easy way to keep their child quiet and pre-occupied. This has meant that these children have grown up with a feeling of entitlement with most parents being unsure in knowing how to control the usage of these games. Cell phones were evolving into smartphones and children as young as 6 were being given these devices to play with.

The purpose of parenting is to guide a child to adulthood. Every child is born with passion and a sense of curiosity. From the time that they become aware of the world around them they want to explore and touch and move. They are born with passion and I believe that the above-mentioned electronic devices and games kill that passion. One of the early warning signs of learning difficulties is when children at an early age don’t persevere. They always expect someone to be there to help them. They start avoiding challenges as they and they begin to develop a fear of failure. When they’re playing electronic games there’s no reason for them to persevere as the moment that they start losing a game, they flick over t another game and losing means nothing to them.

Many parents raise their children wanting to give their child an ‘easy’ life, but life is not about winning, it’s about handling disappointments. How are our kids ever going to handle the challenges of life if we don’t allow them to handle all the curve balls that life throws at them? Virtually all parents are great nurturers but poor managers of their children and I believe that this is the main reason why they are sitting with adult kids who lack motivation, passion and a sense of responsibility.

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