Mental health research has increasingly focused on the effects of overprotective parenting, characterized by excessive supervision and protection. A recent qualitative study revealed that 61.9% of children raised in this environment struggle to face challenges, take risks, and develop the social skills necessary for success. They’re also more susceptible to mental health issues like low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. Overprotective parenting can inadvertently stifle a child’s creativity, leading to a feeling of entitlement, poor attitude, and an inability to persevere.
I have also observed that the majority of learners in remedial classes are the product of over-protective and over-controlling parents.
Understanding Pandering Parenting (Maltese Poodle Parenting)
Pandering Parenting (Maltese Poodle Parenting) is a style where parents excessively cater to a child’s desires to avoid conflict or gain their approval, often sacrificing the setting of important boundaries. I coined this term based on my observation that many families treat their Maltese Poodles similarly: the dogs are often allowed to do just what they like, jump on furniture, are carried around and pampered, and are only sporadically disciplined. Unfortunately, far too many parents are raising their children as though they were pets. This approach, while appearing gentle, ultimately hinders a child’s development into a responsible, resilient individual.
Key Characteristics:
- Excessive Indulgence: Constantly giving children what they want without considering their actual needs or the lessons that could be learned.
- Avoiding Boundaries: Failing to establish and enforce clear rules and limits, which are crucial for a child’s understanding of the world.
- Seeking Approval: Prioritising a child’s immediate happiness over their long-term growth and character.
- Permissiveness: Adopting an overly lenient approach that removes necessary structure and guidance.
- Lack of Consequences: Not following through with appropriate consequences for misbehaviour, which allows children to avoid accountability.
- Undermining Authority: Ending instructions with “okay?” which turns a command into a request.
Why is Pandering Parenting (Maltese Poodle Parenting) Harmful?
This style of parenting can have serious negative consequences:
- Hinders Development: Children don’t learn self-control, responsibility, or resilience when their desires are always met and boundaries are absent.
- Lacks Respect: It can teach children that they’re entitled to get their way, which can lead to conflict in their relationships.
- Creates Dependence: Children don’t develop the necessary skills to navigate challenges independently.
A Better Path: Educative Parenting
Instead of sheltering children from life’s challenges, consider a more balanced approach. Educative parenting such as SCP emphasises empathy and respect while providing clear boundaries and guidance. This style focuses on teaching children the life skills needed for survival and success.
Smart Choice Parenting offers tools, knowledge, and support through parent coaching and workshops to help you navigate these challenges and build a healthier relationship with your child.
