To understand the rising trend of impulsivity in today’s kids, we need to understand our role as parents.
One of the 10 Commandments in the Bible is ‘honour thy father and mother’. In other words, we should be the centre of the child’s universe as they depend on us to guide them into adulthood.
Impulsivity is one of the consequences of a child who is too dependent and believes that the world revolves around them. As mentioned above, we, as parents, should be the centre of our child’s universe. However, what seems to be shifting in these modern times is that all the focus is on the child. They believe they are the centre of the universe, and we, as parents, are hopping around them!
We, as parents, need to equip a child with the skills they will need to take on all the challenges that life will throw at them. This begins as early as the age of two or three. For instance, a three-year-old can use and walk to the toilet independently and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. They can dress themselves and sleep in bed, amongst many other things they can do without assistance.
By being there and helping our children do things they should be doing for themselves, we are sending an implicit message that they can always ask mom and dad to help them when they find some difficulty with a task. I have a saying ‘If they can, they must.’
In other words, they can pack the school case, make their own school lunch, and walk into a stationery shop on their own and ask the assistant for help finding various stationery items they might need. All you need to do as a parent is stand at the door while they walk around the shop independently. They then bring their purchases to you, and you make the necessary payments.
A dependent child lacks self-esteem, low self-confidence, and lacks self-discipline. These negative characteristics will contribute to a child avoiding challenges, giving up on a task and developing a fear of failure as she gets older.
This trend has gone unnoticed, and in this modern, woke society, we are receiving the message as parents to be there for our children. Of course, we have to be there for our children, not at their beck and call, but to manage and parent them in a manner that will ensure that they cope with their world.
Every child is born impulsive and self-centred, and it is up to us as parents to ensure that we raise an independent child, who has manners, is socially well-adapted, picks herself up after losing a game and tries harder. The independent child will also behave appropriately in the classroom, be self-motivated to want to learn, and bask in the glow of academic success.
The Smartchoiceparenting Programme (SCPP) is arguably one of the only parenting programmes that inform and educates parents to manage their child in a manner that will ensure that the child enters their world as a confident, self-motivated, and independent person who loves school as a yearning for learning and takes responsibility for the choices that they make.
For more information regarding the SCPP, click on this link to buy Dr Ken Resnick’s book ‘Parenting Decoded’ or enrol for a workshop.