Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD as it is commonly known, together with ADHD (the H is for hyperactive), are an ongoing dilemma and problem for thousands of parents and their children who have been diagnosed with this disorder.
Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
Diagnosed symptomatically, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is not a virus or disease.
Alarmingly, most professionals involving themselves with the problem, have had no training regarding the vital role that parents play in the healthy development, both behaviourally and academically, of their child.
This lack of understanding extends to the skills parents need to acquire to effectively deal with the situation.
In virtually all cases, the emphasis is placed solely on the child (child-focused), with parents commonly advised to pursue a comprehensive psycho-educational evaluation. Subsequent recommendations frequently involve therapies (play therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy) or medication, with little to no direction offered to the parents regarding their role in dealing with the problem.
This lack of parental guidance often results in a high level of anxiety, especially with the mothers of these children and this anxiety is usually felt by the child who then becomes more insecure, and often the problem is exacerbated.
What can you do as a parent?
Parents are often told by many psychiatrists that there is nothing that they can do that will assist in eliminating this problem. This is simply not true.
According to Oliver James, in his book ‘Not in your Genes’, research has shown that there is no genetic link to ADHD. Many professionals infer that ADHD is genetic!
I find these kinds of statements irresponsible. I have been experiencing significant success by giving parents the tools to emotionally deal with their children who have ADHD.
I have found that the majority of learners diagnosed with ADHD have emotional factors such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence, lack of grit, and fit into the profile of a learned helplessness learner.
Virtually all of these learners are dependent on the help of some form or another. Very few take on a challenge and insist on seeing a task through. Many ADHD learners seem to watch an excessive amount of TV or play computer and other electronic games. I still have not heard a convincing answer as to how an ADHD child can stay focused on a play station game for hours yet be unable to concentrate on very little else.
My feeling is that concentrating while viewing or listening to someone is a choice, but not necessarily a conscious choice. As an example, if I had to give a group of laypersons a technical talk on nuclear physics, it won’t take long before virtually all of them will lose concentration and start thinking of other things.
I believe that this process also happens to learners in the classroom. When their teachers start teaching about things that don’t interest them, their minds wander off and they just don’t focus.
No problem for them because when they get home, their mom is there to help them with their homework or explain things to them when they didn’t listen in class. These children very rarely put up their hands in class to ask questions as their self-esteem is not great.
They also know that there is someone at home that will help them. All that is happening is that they’re learning to become helpless, and as mentioned earlier, they believe that they can’t do any learning without some kind of help.
You need to also be aware that a six-year-old has no idea what ADHD is. He or she usually feels fit and healthy and is quite happy with their life. All of a sudden they’re told that they have a problem and have to go and see someone but they have absolutely no idea as to why they’re going for the different types of interventions.
When parents are given the skills that empower them as parents, they are able to help their children empower themselves.
I use a phrase in my workshop ‘if they can, they must, in other words, all you want from your child is to try their best, make the effort and not give up the moment a problem seems difficult.
When children are encouraged to persevere and be responsible for their own problems, they feel good about themselves. This in turn improves their self-esteem and they learn to become independent rather than dependent.
How we can help you and your child with ADHD?
If you’re feeling worried and financially strained by your child’s ADHD treatment with little visible progress in behavior or schoolwork, let me show you how the SmartChoiceParenting Program (SCPP) can provide better results and save you significant money. Many parents have found it to be a life-changing solution, and you can too.
