To curb your child’s impulsive behaviour you need to focus on the small things. Here are 10 tips which are easy to implement and have good outcomes:
1. The majority of kids today don’t have manners. Manners slow a child down. As an example, instead of taking your phone without asking, switching on the TV without asking, taking food without asking, taking things that don’t belong to them without asking, all you need to do is make it clear to your child that they need to ask before using an item that doesn’t belong to them. ‘Please’ and ‘thank’ you are a must.
2. Teaching a child table manners is a must. Children should only eat at a table and not in their room or in front of a TV. They need to learn terms such as: ‘excuse my fingers’,’ excuse me for stretching’, placing their knives and forks in the correct position on the plate once they have finished eating. ‘Excuse me from the table’ and ’thanks for dinner’.
3. If you’re going to be busy on your phone, let your child know that you don’t want to be interrupted, and that if they interrupt you will mean they don’t want to watch TV, or some other effective consequence. Pre-empt this before you make your call.
4. If your child wants yoghurt from the fridge, she has to ask and you then spell out the conditions relating to the yoghurt. Let them know that they can have yoghurt on condition that finish the yoghurt, clean up the mess and throw the yoghurt container away. Pre-empt this rule and let them know that if they do not follow through with what has agreed upon will mean no TV or some other consequence that you have agreed on with your child.
5. If your child wants to watch TV or use any electronic device they need to ask. When you give them permission the rule needs to be that they sit and watch TV. If they become restless or start annoying each other, or start lying down on the floor or couch, let them know that these actions will result in the TV being switched off.
6. Don’t allow your child to sit in adult company. It is also important that they do not become familiar with your friends. If they want to ask you something while you’re engaging with your friends, they’ve got to say to you ‘excuse me for interrupting but I’d like to ask you something’. Let them wait for our minute or two and then respond.
7. If you want to take a bath your child needs to know that while you’re in the bath they must not bother you. Pre-empt consequences if they do interrupt and follow that through when you’re out the bath.
8. If your child is playing around the house or in their room and they call you to come to them, don’t! If they want something from you they need to come to you.
9. Have rules for your car, for example, no eating in the car, no switching on the car radio without your permission, no interrupting if you’re busy talking to somebody. Pre-empt this rule and spell out the consequences if they don’t cooperate.
10. Your bedroom is not a playroom and your child has to knock before coming in. Insist that they cannot play in your bedroom without your permission. If they want to lie on your bed with you, spell out the rules e.g. lying quietly, not fighting etc. and again spell out the consequences if they don’t cooperate.
By negotiating rules and agreed consequences, helps you manage your child in a calm manner and will also curb the behaviour of and impulsive child.
If you’d like more in-depth information regarding the parenting of an impulsive child, it is recommended that you enrol for Dr. Resnick’s 40 minute course on ‘Parenting the Impulsive child’.
