There is a worrying trend taking place at the moment regarding the number of children that are being diagnosed with anxiety disorders which are leading to depression.

More and more children are being medicated with anti-anxiety and anti-depressive medication.

In these cases the parent’s role is omitted, often resulting in a great deal of anxiety for the parents, especially the mothers.

Anxiety and the parent’s role

 A parent’s anxiety exacerbates the problem.

Research has shown that depression is not genetic!

A child is not born depressed, but they do have a certain amount of anxiety which is exacerbated if the parents do not know how to maintain their authority in a cool, calm, and consistent manner.

When a parent is not in control, where there is much screaming and shouting, no boundaries and/or routine or consistency in their parenting, the child is bound to feel insecure, unsafe and anxious.

I have googled many articles on childhood depression and anxiety and found that in virtually all the articles that I read, parents were given signs and symptoms to watch out for that could indicate depression and high anxiety in their child.

These signs included:

  • angry outbursts;
  • anxiety;
  • chronic pain;
  • clinging to a parent;
  • decreased energy;
  • digestive disorders;
  • helplessness
  • hopelessness;
  • feeling melancholy or sad most of the day, every day;
  • feeling tired;
  • feigning illness;
  • getting into trouble;
  • inability to concentrate;
  • the apparent inability to experience pleasure or excitement even when doing activities that were pleasurable;
  • insomnia or oversleeping;
  • memory loss;
  • phobias;
  • refusal to go to school;
  • sulking
  • and

What these articles fail to mention is that a child is not born with these signs or symptoms. Not one article mentioned that the quality of parenting that these children received was, in fact, the major cause of these worrying signs.

Here are some examples of how parenting can cause some worrying signs:

  1. Angry outbursts – child not getting his own way. Parents probably react by screaming or shouting or being inconsistent.
  2. Anxiety – anxious mom that never leaves the child alone at parties or lets him sleep out. A child can do nothing for himself and the parent has to help.
  3. Clinging child – very dependent on mom always being there for him. Anxious mom who does too much for her child to the extent that she has to walk him to the toilet. Mother is over-protective and a worrier.
  4.  Decreased energy – not involved in sports or competitive activities, unfit, stays indoors too often. Not well-socialised and more than likely has a mother that does too much for him.
  5. Digestive Disorders – too much junk food, probably overweight and opts out of a challenge.
  6. Feigning illness – a manipulative way of not participating in academic or sports situations, opting out when the going gets tough. No consistent structure or rules. Probably a home where there is much screaming and shouting.
  7. Learned helplessness is when the child is given the impression that he does not have to pay attention in class as someone will help him with the homework when he gets home from school. These children often are not well-socialised and watch too much
    TV or play too much on devices. They more than likely will say that they’re bored and need to be entertained. The passion that they were born with has evaporated as they are always dependent on someone helping them when confronted with a challenge.
  8. Inappropriate styles of parenting lie at the core of virtually all childhood disorders and this includes ADHD, Oppositional defiance Disorder (ODD), as well as anxiety and depression. I also noted that there is a significant correlation between a dependent child and low self-esteem.

The Smartchoiceparenting programme (SCPP) gives parents the knowledge skills and insight that will enable them to maintain their authority in a cool, calm and collected manner.

Read more about the SCPP on this website. Listen to my podcast with Nikki Bush as well as the various radio and TV interviews,

Smartchoiceparenting is a Life Changing experience and is the Better Choice!