Hi, my name is Dr Ken Resnick and I’m an educational psychologist who has developed and evaluated by way of a doctoral thesis a unique and very effective parenting programme which I’ve called Smartchoiceparenting and SmartchoiceTeaching. During my research, I discovered that virtually all evidence-based parenting programmes are psychological in nature and are based on cognitive behavioural principles and social learning theory where the emphasis is on helping parents manage their child’s behaviour and other developmental problems.
What makes my programme different is that it is not a psychological programme, but an educative one, where parents are given the knowledge, understanding and skills which make them aware that it is the quality of parenting that a child receives that lies at the root of virtually all developmental problems.
I have become increasingly concerned at the growing number of learners who are being assessed and diagnosed with various disorders, including ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), depression, anxiety disorders and many others. Since the advent of Covid, there appears to be a new pandemic of overprotective, overinvolved, and overly anxious parents who are being given the message that they need to keep their children safe, in order to do this, they are told to be there for their child, assist the child wherever possible and try and avoid exposing the child to any situation that might generate anxiety in the child.
As a result, many of today’s children are being mollycoddled, overprotected, and over-controlled which is resulting in a growing number of children being diagnosed and labelled with various developmental disorders. It would appear that remedial classes are becoming larger, and high achievers are diminishing in numbers.
As a result of Covid, many parents have not been given the tools or the skills that will enable them to manage their children during their long stay at home. The consequence of this is that too many children have been mixing with adults, and not encouraged to interact with their peers and as a result, many learners entering grade1 have poor social skills, lack confidence, have no interest in learning and have become over-dependent on an adult helping them when confronted with challenges presented to them in the classroom.
Here are some very disconcerting trends that I’ve observed that are a result of Compassionate, over-protecting helicopter and molly-coddling parents:
- A growing number of learners who are extremely impulsive and demanding
- A growing number of learners in speech therapy
- A growing number of children not involving themselves in fantasy play
- Encouraging learned helplessness
- Over dependency on the parent
- For too many learners in occupational therapy
- Addiction to social media and digital games
- Far too many kids lack Grit and Determination
In a book written by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt titled ‘the coddling of the American mind’, the authors reveal startling statistics regarding children born since 2005. There has been an increase of over 70% in teenage suicides among adolescent girls and an increase of 25% in adolescent boys. Part of the reason is too many hours spent on social media and for boys a genuine addiction to digital games such as ‘Fortnite’ and ‘Mindcraft”.
By the time a child has reached adolescence, it is almost too late if the above trends are not effectively dealt with by parents
The Smartchoiceparenting programme equips parents with the skills that will enable them to bring up confident, independent, self-motivated learners who are able to resist the inappropriate content of social media.
Watch this video: The Strongest Predictor For Success, if you think you are worried about a lack of grit in your child to reach success.
