When we talk about the mental health and well-being of victims, we cannot ignore the role that the parent has played regarding the apparent inability of the child to cope with bullying that takes place at school.
A child who has not been well socialised and tends to spend most of his time with adults, playing computer games and watching TV, will in all likelihood have difficulty in relating to his peers on the playground.
The consequences of this will be a child with low self-esteem, inappropriate social skills, and who will probably be not performing well academically.
It is relatively easy to deal with young children who are being bullied by helping the parents understand their role in creating the problem.
Providing Emotional Support and Counselling for Victims of Bullying
In order to provide emotional support for victims of bullying, a parent needs to understand how to deal with the problem as well as their role that may lie at the root of the problem.
For instance, an overprotected child who is never allowed to play with friends, socialise at parties, or have sleepovers, may have great difficulty in dealing with the pressures of the playground.
In the above example, it is fairly clear that parents who are overprotecting their child are not equipping them with the skills that will enable them to survive all the challenges that will confront their child at school and on the playground.
Parents are advised to seek professional help if their child is a victim of bullying, and the SmartChoiceParenting programme will give them the insight and understanding as to how their style of parenting impacts the healthy development of their child.
It is inadvisable to only send a bullying victim for therapy without including the parents.
If parents are given the tools and structure which will enable them to appropriately parent their child, the child should be able to grow in confidence and cope better with his environment.
Coping Mechanisms for Bullying Victims
It is very difficult for a victim of bullying to develop resilience in order to cope on the playground and social media.
The older a victim is, the more difficulty they will have in coping with their peers. Many of these victims become addicted to PlayStation and/or computer games, TV, WhatsApp, etc. and as a result, become more isolated from the real world of the playground.
Some coping mechanisms for victims of bullying to think about are:
- To become involved extra-murally in some or other activity offered at the school, which will give them the opportunity to socialise with peers who have common interests
- Encouraging them to join groups such as Boy or Girl Scouts
- Joining a school choir or auditioning for a part in a school play can also help the bully feel better about him or herself
- Doing charity work
- Do a first-aid course and help at school sports activities
Signs of Long- Long-term Psychological Effects from Bullying
- Persistent anxiety or depression
- Self-mutilating (cutting themselves)
- Social withdrawal and experimentation with drugs
- Low self-esteem and self-worth
- Poor academic performance
- Spending most of their free time in their bedroom
Addressing Long-Term Effects
Parents have to understand the potential long-term side effects of a child who is a victim of bullying. Therapy can only be effective if the child is willing to participate and is able to develop a trusting relationship with the therapist.
Generally, adolescents don’t enjoy therapy and often have a distrust of adults. It is therefore important that the victim trusts his therapist and parents, and that the parents become part of the therapeutic process.
In order to help victims of bullying, it is always important to try and understand why the child is being targeted.
It is important for the bullies to be brought into the picture, in order for parents and other involved adults such as teachers and school counsellors to try and understand why the bullies have targeted a victim.
In many cases, the victim is not socially adept at dealing with his peers and as a result may act out inappropriately and become a target for a bully or a group.
It is therefore vitally important for parents to understand that if their child is being bullied, the contribution they may inadvertently be making by not encouraging their child to deal with their world in an appropriate manner.
PlayStations and other digital devices need to be carefully supervised and a young child’s time on these devices should be earned by ensuring that they participate in extramural activities.
Parents of younger children need to understand what style of parenting is in the child’s best interest, and which will ensure that the child becomes an independent, well-motivated and well-integrated child who can deal with all the challenges that confront them.
