Cyberbullying is bullying with the use of digital technologies. It can take place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms and mobile phones. It is repeated behaviour, aimed at scaring, angering or shaming those who are targeted.
Many parents are unaware of the extent how which cyberbullying is infecting our children’s lives. Virtually all learners who are hooked into their cell phones and spend most of their free time on WhatsApp do not communicate with their parents.
If a parent is able to bring up a child by encouraging them to become independent, by ensuring that they have equipped the child to appropriately handle the bigger world of school and the playground, the child should be able to grow in confidence and self-esteem, and cope better with his environment, being much less likely to become a bully or a victim.
Overprotective parents, who are afraid to allow their children to socialise freely, sleep out at friends, or be left alone at parties may find that the child lacks the social skills to behave appropriately with their peers. These children often spend far too much time playing digital games and may have a tendency to connect with friends that seldom meet.
Understanding Cyberbullying
Examples of cyberbullying include:
- Spreading lies about or posting embarrassing photos or videos of someone on social media
- Sending hurtful, abusive or threatening messages, images or videos via messaging platforms
- Impersonating someone and sending mean messages to others on their behalf or through fake accounts
Cyberbullying is rife and the majority of teenagers have either been a target all a victim of some form of cyberbullying.
The effects that cyberbullying has on a child who has no friends, spends too much time with their parents, and feels out of place at school, can be devastating. The quite dramatic rise in teenage suicides bears fruit as to the horrific consequences of cyberbullying.
Coping Mechanisms for Children
As parents, we need to understand what our purpose is in raising a child. We have to know how to instil the correct values, morals and strength of character into our children in order for them to cope with life.
It is our job to instil the coping mechanisms that will enable a child to make the right decisions, be assertive, well socialised, feel good about themselves and take responsibility for the choices that they make.
From an early age, it is the parent’s duty to ensure that the child spends a minimum amount of time playing on some or other device. This will enable them to understand the importance of self-control, the meaning of perseverance, gleaned from effort, and the ability to assert themselves in a confident and acceptable manner.
Recognising Signs of Emotional Distress
Common signs of emotional distress include:
- Never being invited to parties or other social events
- Spending most of the time in their room and not communicating with their parents
- A drop in academic performance
- No interest or desire to learn schoolwork
- Withdrawn and depressed
Seeking Professional Support
Parents need help in understanding the above situation and that their style of parenting may lie at the root of their child’s low self-esteem. It is not a good idea to try and force your child into talking to you or going for therapy without seeking help for yourself first.
Preventative Measures
If a child is unwilling to talk openly to the parents, their relationship of trust is broken down. It is advisable to seek help from a professional with the understanding and knowledge plus variability to build up a trusting relationship with your child.
Once a child trusts the therapist, he/she should be able to mediate a session between the child and parents in order to restore a relationship of trust and understanding.
It is the parent’s responsibility to know how to instil characteristics that will ensure that they are independent, self-motivated, and socially adept, behave appropriately in all situations, take responsibility for the choices they make, are not influenced by their peers and have their own set of healthy values.
A dependent child whose parents or overprotective, overcontrolling, or mollycoddling and are doing virtually everything that a child should be doing for themselves, is creating a person who lacks confidence, is socially inept, easily influenced by his peers, opts out of a challenge and not performing well at school, is highly likely to be a victim of bullying, cyber bullying and you may also become a cyber bully.
