Cyberbullying is a major concern worldwide and parents are at a loss to deal with this pervasive and growing problem. From my experience I have noticed that a number of children who were bullied at school have turned to cyberbullying, seemingly to get their own back.
The majority of parents are aware of cyberbullying but seem to have no idea how inappropriate, scary and nasty the content of the various forms of cyberbullying are.
There has been a 76% increase in suicide among teenage girls in America and it seems many of these suicides were as a result of cyber-bullying.
Common Behavioural Changes
There are five common behavioural changes that may be an indication that your child is experiencing Cyber-Bullying:
- Withdrawal from social activities
- Emotional changes like sadness or irritability
- Decline in academic performance
- Sleep disturbance
- Reluctance to use electronic devices
Frequently Observed Online Platforms
- Online platforms where cyber-bullying is frequently observed are:
- Social media (e.g. Facebook, Instagram)
- Messaging apps (e.g. WhatsApp, Snapchat, Telegram)
- Online gaming communities
Encouraging Open Communication
Many victims of cyberbullying are reluctant to share with their parents if they are being cyberbullied. Reasons for this include:
- Fear of repercussions
- Feeling embarrassed or ashamed
- Believing adults won’t understand
- Lack of trust or awareness of parental support
The importance of open communication with your child
Bullying problems usually begin from quite a young age and unfortunately, parents are not shown how to equip their child with the social skills necessary to deal with the challenges of the playground.
The following are some parenting styles that do not encourage open communication with your child:
- Over-protecting and mollycoddling – where the child is not equipped to deal appropriately in dealing with the bigger world. The parents make all the decisions for the child and as a result the child may grow up vulnerable and indecisive.
- Spoiling – Where the parent gives in to the child’s every whim and demand. The child tends to remain self-centred, selfish, boastful and controlling. He may turn out to be a bully, or a child who is bullied by others because of his inappropriate behaviour.
- Autocratic – where a child is totally dependent on their parents’ control over him. He is given no choices and has to do as he’s told. Consequences of autocratic parenting may result in a child becoming rebellious and resort to anti-social behaviour and a bully. Or alternatively turn out to be very passive and unable to assert himself on the playground and become a victim of bullies.
Parents need to seek professional help from a therapist with the experience, knowledge and understanding of the consequences of inappropriate parenting.
Cyber-bullying is on the increase and appears to be acted out by children who are bullied on the playground as well as children who were the victim of bullies and are now getting their own back.
Not enough focus is centred around the quality of parenting with regard to bullies, cyberbullies, and the victims of bullies. More emphasis needs to be placed on educating parents about the very important role that they play in ensuring that they equip their child with the skills that will enable them to be independent and have the confidence to know how to deal with their world.
An independent, self-motivated confident child with high self-esteem, will, in all likelihood not become a bully or a victim. Unfortunately, a child is totally dependent on their parents to ensure that they mature into an independent, self- motivated adult.
